Worst dinner ever

I dined at a formerly favorite restaurant and had a meal that was so
outrageous it would make a funny documentary.

We arrived and they had our reservation. There were only two other
tables filled in this lovely upscale restaurant.

I choose the 7 course degustation menu. After an elaborate (it seemed
like a 15 minute lesson) explanation of the menu choices. I finally
ordered.

The head waiter came by and explained they served an unsalted butter
from France. It was beautifully presented on a square glass crystal
plate.

Then he offered to "salt" our butter to our specifications with "FLEUR DE SEL".
I was so impressed as I watched him carely grind the special salt on
our butter square.

My second course was a peppery puck that tasted like cardboard. I
could not discern any other ingeredient besides pepper. When the
server noticed I had only taken one bite, he asked if I was enjoying
my mysterious pepper puck. I said that although it may have been well
prepared, it was just too peppery for my taste.

He replied that a lot of the diners felt that way.
(shouldn't he tell the chef--not me?)

By the third course my companion asked what I thought we were supposed
to do with the butter? I teasingly said dunk our fingers in and then
lick them.

After the third course, the girl who was busing tables came over and
asked if we would like more bread. MORE BREAD? We had never even
gotten any.

THE SECRET INGREDIENT

My fourth course was a corn risotto with pancetta. It seemed to have a
smokey, off taste. When I found a piece of plastic in the dish, I put
it on my bread plate and gave it to the buss girl. I suggested she
give it to the chef so that none of the other diners would get that
bonus ingredient.

No one apologized. No one offered to replace the dish or bring me
something else.
The meal just continued.

My dinning companion said--it is a shame they are already comping us
because we really deserve to be comped for this meal. My meal alone
was $125 without wine.

After more courses and a not very exciting dessert--when I leave a
chocolate dessert it is definately below par--

The waiter brought a check. Without opening it, I said, " I would like to put a tip for you on American Express."

He then asked me how I would like to pay the rest of the bill. The bill was close to $300 without tip

I explained that we had been invited to be guests by the Public Relations person.
They said no one had told them.

I suggested they check.

After about 20 minutes of wandering around, they finally came back and
said we were right--the meal was supposed to be comped.

I again told the server I would like to leave a tip on my American Express.

He replied, No, Mam, you can't tip us. We don't deserve it.

It was the first thing I think he did right.

My computer died. Please send condolences

Instead of flowers, please send a technician

I feel like my best friend died.
Actually, it was my computer.
It went everywhere with me. I spent more time with it than anyone or
anything else.

Just today, I forwarded an article about how they had defined
"computer addiction" as a medical diagnosis to a few of my friends

So I guess now I will be going in withdrawal.

If anyone has any tips or advice about a computer they love--or
something they wish they had gotten--please share

What time do you start opening your wine bottles?

THIS MORNING DHL WOKE ME UP AT 8 WITH
TWO TUBS OF CHOCOLATE BANANA ICE CREAM ON DRY ICE
A BOTTLE OF TOMATO VODKA FROM THREEE OLIVES.
4 BOTTLES OF WINE (ACTUALLY THREE WERE DOUBLE PORTION BOXES)
AND SOME GREEN FOLDING CAR SACKS

MOST PEOPLE WOULD THINK IT WAS GREAT TO GET THAT ALL BEFORE 8:15 AM
sORT OF LIKE XMAS MORNING

BUT I HAD BEEN UP LATE (AND HAD TOO MUCH WINE TO DRINK) AND I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP.

THE DHL PERSON "APOLOGIZED" FOR BRINGING ME SO MUCH STUFF. I COULD NOT GET IT ALL INTO MY LOFT, SO I SAT ON THE PARK BENCH IN FRONT OF MY LOFT AND OPENED EVERYTHING. I FELT A BIT LIKE A WINO SITTING THERE. MOST OF THE PEOPLE WALKING BY WERE COMING FROM THE HEALTH CLUB--DRINKING SOMETHING LIKE POMEGRANATE JUICE.

Why I joined Facebook

I just joined on Monday because when I was in San Francisco last month I went to a cooking school at a winery called Crushpad. They sent me a noitce they had a new program called winestream with Facebook. I had to join Facebook to access it. Suddenly old friends started finding me and I got hooked.