too big?

YesterDAy I was at the Salvation Army. A very attractive woman was trying things on in the makeshift mirror beside me.
I asked her about her opinion on a few things I was trying in. After a few, she said to me...WHY ARE YOU TRYING ON THINGS THAT ARE TOO BIG?? I explained I had lost some weight and wasn't really certain of my size.
She was a former model and we really bonded and exchanged cards. I make lots of friends while I am shopping.

A party I should have skipped

My Rochelle forwarded a press invite to a new online TV show. It was at a trendy new bar and promised appetizers and drinks.
I am not so trendy...so I decided to call the bar to find out exactly where it was.
I dialed and dialed. Turns out the number of the invitation was wrong.

THAT WAS MY FIRST CLUE
or perhaps an omen.

I arrived at the event and was not exactly sure where the "LIFT" (name of the BAR) was. I had the address and there was a long line of valet cars, so I just got in line

SECOND MISTAKE.
I spent more time waiting in line to retrieve my car than I did at the party.

I finally figured out where the entrance was. The doorman pointed me inside.
On the left was a sloppy stack of boxes with different labels. There was an office building elevator ahead.
I was not sure where to go.
I asked the doorman where the bar was? He looked at me like I was a complete idiot (how did he know so quickly?) and then he condescendingly said: TAKE THE ELEVATOR.

THE BAR IS NAMED FOR THE ELEVATO..GET IT? A LIFT

As the door opened, the access was completely blocked by a couple conversing. A hostess person asked them to move over. They seemed to not hear her. (It was loud--maybe they really did not hear her) The hostess took the man's arm and guided him into the room.

Then the hostess handed me a small cardboard box. It looked like a tiny present in a cheap box. She said, "I don't know..maybe the tickets are for a drawing at the end..so you may want to save yours."

I LATER LEARNED THE TICKETS WERE DRINK TICKETS

Food always helps--so I went looking for the promised appetizers. I finally found a man slowly passing about three dozen slices to about 300 hundred people. Since I am allergiv to shellfish, I asked him if there was fish in the sushi. He said no. Luckily, a nearby girl who had just had a piece said .."There is Crab."

SHE SAVED MY LIFE.

I decided to leave. I mean if the hostess does not know the drink tickets are drink tickets and the server does not know what was in the food, I just hoped the valet still knew where my car was.

A PREMONITION
I walked down the stairs ( no elevator on the back exit way out) hoping the valet had been slow enough not to yet have parked my car.

NO LUCK
I spent more time in the valet line than I did at the party. When they finally found my car, they had obviously moved the visor where I keep my glasses.

DRIVE WITHOUT GLASSES?
I knew that was a bad idea. So I stayed where the valet had parked my car and starting looking for my glasses. They are big and red. Should be easy to find. But it wasnt't. Everyone started honking.

WHAT NEXT
I went home and had dinner at the wonderful bistro across the street--Amuse.
Great burger, nice ambiance, and friendly servers. I wished I had never left the neighborhood

I know how Brittany feels

Whenever someone invites me to a cocktail party at a bar, I almost panic when I walk into a dark, loud, noisy room.
I am not shy. But I had to not be able to see well enough to know who I want to talk to.
I stand near the door. Then I walk to the bar. Then I look around for the appetizers.
If I don't see any food, I leave right away.
Unless Don Weitz is there and since he know everyone he will introduce me to interesting people.

Poor Brittany. Imagine trying to go to court with paparazzi all around you. I guess she decides not to go.

Maybe I should stop going to large cocktail parties at bars.